23 janvier 2023
Pourquoi ? Parce que « L’option A n’est pas disponible. Alors on va prendre l’option B, et on va tout déchirer. »
C’est exactement ce qu’a répondu Adam Grant, psychologue et spécialiste de la résilience, à Sheryl Sandberg la Coo de Facebook lorsque son mari est décédé.
Sheryl Sandberg n’est autre que le bras droit de Facebook, celle d’ailleurs qui a rendu florissant un site prometteur. A quatre mains avec son ami Adam Grant, ils ont publié un livre sur les façons dont on peut remonter la pente après un traumatisme.
« Option B. Surmonter l’adversité, être résilient, retrouver l’aptitude au bonheur » (éditions Michel Lafon, 2017).
En travaillant ensemble, ils ont appris que la résilience n’est pas quelque chose dont nous possédons une quantité fixe, mais quelque chose que nous pouvons développer. En nous mêmes, chez nos enfants, dans nos entreprises.
Option B est une tentative pour partager leur recherche sur la résilience.
MALALA YOUSAFZAI, prix Nobel de la paix évoque ainsi ce livre « Un livre inspirant que je recommande à tous. Personne n’échappe à la tristesse, à la perte, aux déceptions de la vie. Alors la meilleure option, c’est de trouver l’option B. »
Oui, On a tous besoin d’un plan B à un moment ou un autre
Ce qui est intéressant, c’est qu’Option B n’est pas réservé qu’aux personnes vivant un deuil.
C’est plutôt une façon de voir la vie, de réussir à « faire face à l’adversité, développer de la résilience et trouver de la joie »
Choisir l’option B peut être appliqué dans le choix de sa formation, de son poste.
Si l’option A n’est pas disponible, on choisit l’option B.
Demandez à un grimpeur de haute montagne, il vous expliquera qu’il y a plusieurs voies, et que selon les conditions météorologiques, selon son état, selon x facteurs, certaines voies ne sont pas envisageables. Alors on prend l’option B.
La résilience est, en psychologie, un terme utilisé pour décrire la capacité à se remettre d’un traumatisme et à rebondir.
On évoque souvent la résilience comme trait spécifique des grands sportifs ou entrepreneurs.
Adam Grant explique que » nous ne naissons pas avec une quantité fixe de résilience. La résilience est comme un muscle, nous pouvons la développer « .
Et ce livre regorge justement d’histoires qui révèlent la capacité de l’esprit humain non seulement à persévérer…mais aussi à redécouvrir la joie.
Suite à son drame, la numéro deux de Facebook a incité les salariés à partager leurs difficultés personnelles au travail.
Selon elle, partager ses difficultés personnelles, est essentiel et crucial pour dépasser ces moments où l’on a l’impression qu’on n’y arrivera pas, qu’on est au bout de ses forces, où l’on a envie de passer le relais et de dormir sans se réveiller.
Elle revient avec simplicité sur certaines recettes qui ont fonctionné pour elle.
- Penser à trois événements heureux de la journée avant de s’endormir,
- Ecrire un journal intime,
- S’entourer de personnes qui traversent le même type d’épreuves que soi
Les deux auteurs soulignent l’importance de la pensée positive dans la réflexion sur la vie en entreprise.
Mais ce qui est surtout une grande avancée, c’est le puissant conseil de Sheryl Sandberg et Adam Grant.
Parler de ses difficultés personnelles au travail.
Difficultés, quelles qu’elles soient : traumatisme, maladie, divorce, deuil, dépression….
Sheryl prônait déjà le « Bring your whole self to work » apportez votre être entier au travail,
«On pourrait penser que partager sa vie privée ralentit une équipe, mais en réalité, cela prend du temps et de l’énergie de cacher des choses.»
Selon elle, les vrais leaders sont ceux, qui savent être eux-mêmes, en entier, au travail, sans se couper d’une part fondamentale qui est tout simplement… la vie. Un credo en rupture avec une vision masculine, avance-t-elle, des qualités nécessaires pour diriger.
D’ailleurs tu peux retrouver à ce sujet le podcast n’°42 : as tu pensé un jour quitter ton boulot pour une question de survie. A écouter ici
Alors faisons entrer l’empathie et la bienveillance dans les couloirs de l’entreprise, et n’hésitons plus à partager nos difficultés.
Et je peux te garantir que c’est un soulagement immense.
A moindre mesure, lorsque j’étais opérations programme manager, il était fréquent d’être convoqué à 18h passé chez le DG.
Ce qui occasionnait chez moi un stress important car je ne regardais plus que ma montre, avec la peur d’être en retard chez la nounou.
Un soir, plus tard que d’ordinaire, les managers convoqués pour la énième fois, j’ai pris le risque de dire que je ne pouvais pas assister à la réunion car je devais aller chercher mes enfants. Bien sûr, je pouvais me rendre disponible en ligne.
Et qu’elle ne fut pas surprise lorsque le directeur général m’a enlevé un poids, en me disant qu’il était normal d’aller chercher ses enfants, appréciable que les managers posent des limites et que non, il n’était pas utile de rester en ligne sur le chemin du retour.
Depuis ce jour, j’ai compris qu’exposer finalement sa vie personnelle et ses contraintes était source d’énergie car on se sent compris, et entendu. Et effectivement, en bonus on ne perd plus d’énergie à cacher sa vie personnelle.
Option B, est véritablement un état d’esprit à adopter, utile en toutes circonstances. Alors garde en tête ton option B.
Alors, si tu ne peux pas rester dans ton job actuel, quelle est ton option B ?
Si tu ne peux pas suivre cette formation, quelle est ton option B ?
Si tu ne peux pas avoir les ressources nécessaires pour ton projet, quelle est ton option B
Ne t’arrête plus à l’option A, retrouve de la joie et de l’entrain, et en avant pour ton option B !
Et n’oublies pas, on a qu’une vie, et c’est aujourd’hui qu’elle (re)commence, alors bon voyage.
[sibwp_form id=3]
Olivia LH
Coach professionnel, mentor et auteure, Olivia Lans Hebrard accompagne l'Humain et transforme les organisations. Experte en transition managériale, sa mission consiste à accompagner les organisations autour du sens, de la performance, du développement et du mieux être au travail. Elle accompagne les structures dans le déploiement optimal de leur énergie et facilite l’émergence de projets qui font sens. S'il fallait tirer un fil conducteur, cela serait celui de la Créativité ! Son expertise, l'art de rendre visible ce qui est invisible dans les organisations, et permettre ainsi de retrouver énergie et sens pour rendre faisable des projets titanesques. Experte en transition managériale et spécialiste en coaching systémique avec les constellations d'organisations, elle accompagne depuis plusieurs années de nombreux entrepreneurs, managers et dirigeants dans leurs défis. Sa mission : accompagner en tant que coach les organisations à retrouver de l'énergie et du sens pour construire des solutions créatives aux challenges de demain et mieux gérer leurs relations interpersonnelles
Author Olivia LH
Coach professionnel, mentor et auteure, Olivia Lans Hebrard accompagne l'Humain et transforme les organisations. Experte en transition managériale, sa mission consiste à accompagner les organisations autour du sens, de la performance, du développement et du mieux être au travail. Elle accompagne les structures dans le déploiement optimal de leur énergie et facilite l’émergence de projets qui font sens.
S'il fallait tirer un fil conducteur, cela serait celui de la Créativité !
Son expertise, l'art de rendre visible ce qui est invisible dans les organisations, et permettre ainsi de retrouver énergie et sens pour rendre faisable des projets titanesques.
Experte en transition managériale et spécialiste en coaching systémique avec les constellations d'organisations, elle accompagne depuis plusieurs années de nombreux entrepreneurs, managers et dirigeants dans leurs défis.
Sa mission : accompagner en tant que coach les organisations à retrouver de l'énergie et du sens pour construire des solutions créatives aux challenges de demain et mieux gérer leurs relations interpersonnelles
Bonjour Olivia,
En complément à votre article, je voudrais revenir sur le terme « résilience », ce qui n’enlève rien à la qualité de votre article.
A l’origine, ce terme vient de l’industrie métallurgique. Il s’agit de la capacité d’un métal à revenir à son état initial lorsqu’il subit une traction ou une tension. Une poutre métallique doit être résiliente, sinon elle sera cassante lors d’un effort exercé sur elle. Puis, ce terme a été utilisé pour caractériser un comportement humain capable de « revenir à l’état initial » après avoir subit une situation difficile.
Je vous souhaite une excellente journée.
ERIC.
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